Let’s get started with definitions first, just to get any confusion out of the way. What exactly is a ‘somewhat princess’ you ask? Well, to put it simply: I mean someone like me. If you’ve read some of my other blog entries, you’ll know what I’m talking about. If you haven’t, then keep reading.
I consider myself to be a ‘somewhat’ princess because I feel like I don’t completely fit in the full princess category. I’m not someone who demands to be put in 5 star accommodations while travelling—I’m completely okay with 3 star hotels. Anything below that, I’d find uncomfortable. I mean, for all you know they recycle their ‘bottled water’ to save costs and one may end up with Hepatitis A, B, or E and/or a multitude of intestinal parasites. [Side Note: while Hep A and B have vaccines, there is no vaccine for Hep E, which is rampant in these parts]. Now that’s a scenario that most sane people would want to avoid.
The same goes for restaurants—somewhat princesses don’t need to eat in the fanciest of places, but there’s a bottom line that they’ll never cross. For me, the bottom line is probably the Pandara Road restaurants in Delhi and the decent looking beach shacks in Goa. That’s the most adventurous I’ll ever get with food in India. I’m never going to eat things like pani puris, chaat, or roadside parathas. And frankly, I don’t think I’m going to miss out on discovering any grand secrets in life because of it.
A bit of info on ‘full princesses’ before I move on—a full princess (and there’re lots who are born and raised in India) would have a much higher bottom line. They might even make faces about eating in a perfectly good restaurant, like, for example The Big Chill in Khan Market because it’s ‘not good enough.’ And FYI, when I say princesses, I don’t just mean women, there are plenty of extremely high maintenance Indian men I’ve met out here!
Moving On, to the Advice Section of the Post
1. Do not compare yourself to the other foreigners (AKA, most white people) who move to India.
Foreigners who move to India seem to fall into the extremely adventurous category. They can sleep in tents on the way to places/events like the Kumbh Mela. They can eat roadside food without getting sick. They can take trains instead of choosing to fly. They can stay in really shitty hotels because they value the experience of travelling more than comfort. They’ll look at creepy crawlies like lizards and say ‘awww, let me keep it as a pet.’ Etc, etc, you get the idea.
Now you, as a somewhat princess of South Asian origin, will not be able to do ANY of those things.
To give you an example, the only time I ever took a train was when I was travelling with my work people to Gwalior on for a ‘work vacation’ type thing. The train station in Delhi was beyond scary. It was INSANELY crowded and the baggage security was CRAP. For a country that’s under constant terror threat, that’s a disaster waiting to happen. The train ride itself wasn’t completely terrible, but it’s not something I’d like to repeat. The redeeming point, of course, was that we were going to be staying at the Taj Usha Kiran in Gwalior. Palaces that have been converted to 5 star properties just might be worth train rides.
[Side Note: If you ever have to travel by train for whatever reason, pack your own bottled water and food. The food they served looked gross—I can’t tell you how it tasted because I didn’t eat it, and I’m pretty sure the water was recycled.]
To give you another example, my reaction to creepy crawlies is usually ‘AAAHHHH KILL IT WITH FIRE’ and not ‘awww, let me keep it as a pet.’
Another example—I stay far away from places like Rishikesh and Varanasi (two of the most crowded and polluted religious sites I can think of, though there are plenty more). Yikes. I'll never understand how being subjected to such pollution, crowds, and germs will help anyone in obtaining spirituality. More like obtaining tuberculosis.
So in short, they're bigger, stronger, more open minded and have infinitely more survival skills than you do.
So in short, they're bigger, stronger, more open minded and have infinitely more survival skills than you do.
2. Ignore websites that post ‘clothing etiquette’ rules and ‘social behavior’ rules, and other similar rules.
Before I moved to India at the end of 2010, I did my fair share of research on the internet, and what I read appalled me! Basically, I read the same message (warning more like) over and over again about ‘don’t wear skirts’ ‘don’t wear shorts’ ‘don’t wear tank tops’ ‘don’t wear dresses’ ‘don’t hold your partner’s hand in public’ ‘don’t even think of kissing in public’ etc, etc, and so on.
What a bunch of bullshit.
You can wear whatever the hell you want (odds are, someone who was born and raised in India will probably be wearing something shorter, with spiky high heels that could be used as a murder weapon). The only thing is, as a somewhat princess, make sure you have your own transportation. As in, don’t take public transport (or even a taxi at night in Delhi) and you’ll be fine. You’re going to go from your air conditioned house, to an air conditioned car, to an air conditioned restaurant/hotel/club—and nobody is going to harass you there.
Now, if you’re one of the ‘I want to be a local and experience everyday life and build my spirituality’ types of people, then these rules may apply to you. But if you’re like me, then pay them no mind because you’ll never have to deal with the majority of the local population. In situations that you do have to deal with large crowds in areas with people of diverse socio-economic backgrounds, such as the train station (which I’ve been to once) or sarojini nagar market (which I’ve been to twice), then it’s best to avoid skirts, shorts, and tank tops.
Speaking of Sarojini Nagar, the first time I visited the place was to help a maid shop for her wedding. I was quite impressed with the export surplus stuff I found there and bought a few things for myself.
3. Beware of perverts.
My first time dealing with a pervert was at Max Hospital in Gurgaon. When I’d adopted my cat Lola, I’d also tried adopting her sister, who was sick and scratched me. Even though the vet swore it couldn’t be rabies, I rushed to the hospital to get anti-rabies shots.
Anyway, after giving me my first rabies shot in the upper arm, this male nurse kept massaging my arm for about a whole minute. Instead of realizing he was some kind of pervert, I thought he was an excellent nurse—you see, my dad had gotten the rabies shot in the 70s (when they gave 7 shots to the stomach), and the medicine hadn’t spread properly, causing the injection site to become infected. I was all like ‘wow, this nurse really knows what he’s doing.’
The next time I went (to get my second shot as you need a total of five shots for rabies), the lady nurse who gave me the shot didn’t massage my arm. When I asked her about it, she gave me a look and said that modern day vaccines don’t require any such massages.
The second (and last) time I dealt with a pervert was in Connaught Place (CP). I was all like ‘wow, I’m going to experience real India as opposed to the malls of Vasant Kunj’ and ‘I’m going to experience Delhi culture’ blah blah blah. And then someone tried grabbing my ass, rather unsuccessfully may I add. And I had no idea who the hell it was because the place was so CROWDED.
Well, lesson learned. Avoid male nurses at hospitals and please, do forget about ‘experiencing local culture’ unless you’re ready to deal with a multitude of local perverts.
4. Be aware of the men to women ratio in restaurants and bars (especially bars)
This is a great litmus test to weed out creepy establishments. If you realize that men outnumber women by a significant proportion, then DO NOT go in. In fact, nice bars like Striker will not let a group of men inside unless they have a woman in the group. It might not exactly be ‘fair’ but it sure keeps the creepies out.
